you're my oxygen. i don't want to breathe without you.

the long overhaul, overdue?, update for may '07.

i started working a week and a half ago at the theater again. second job. it's okay. better than the grey era, but different. it will never be how it was when i was eighteen, but that's life i guess.

the new era of employees are a new experience for me. to see the new people come in, is like a revised, "save by the bell," show... it's kinda cool. doug, tyler, santos, justin... they're A-OKAY.

i'm tired and blank most of the time. when i'm irritated with something these days, i'm usually too tired to give a shit to bother arguing, so i let it go.

i have today off so that's a bonus in my bank.

i begin therapy thursday. hopefully get to the bottom of depression. we'll see.

i've been listening to a few albums in a consistent rotation lately. they are:

new found glory - coming home.
tv on the radio - return to cookie mountain.
flickerstick - live from atlanta.
mc chris - dungeon master of ceremonies.
a perfect circle - mer de noms.
flyleaf - flyleaf.
the departed - soundtrack.
porno for pyros - good god's urge.
mogwai - happy songs for happy people.
gnarls barkley - st. elsewhere.

don't ask my why, but i listen to each album at least once during the day.

the new die hard trailer has kevin smith at the tail end of it with his cameo, and it makes me smirk. while the new halloween trailer via rob zombie's genius gives me a boner.

i had to go get my MRI done at the lehigh radiology center that doubled with the OBGYN of lehigh.

so when the receptionist asked me if i was there for an MRI with a room full of women looking at me, i said, "nope. i'm here to see my OBGYN to see if i'm pregnant..."

and that's my life. boring, funny, tiring, depressing, and sometimes blissfull while others are miserable. i have no strength to give a shit anymore. i just go through the motions.

"oh comely, i will be with you when you lose your breath... chasing the only meaningful memory you thought you had left."

i have slummed into this depressive funk today. i'm sunburnt, and worn out, and i begin working a second job as a projectionist, friday night.

i've been listening to a lot of, "neutral milk hotel," lately... truly one of my all time favorite bands. and another reason i cannot wait to get my ipod. i can max out that 80 gig drive with so much music, and when i get the wireless adapter, i can bring NMH to work with me in the work truck via a station...

halo 3 beta does not work with crackdown. i'm pretty upset about that, but not enough to open any veins.

i want to miss someone, but i'm not sure it would really be warranted. i always do this. like i'm trying so hard to be into something that i just don't have any place being to begin with.

i don't know how much i will write anymore. the vicodin has run dry.

three forty-five in the morning.

i had this strange dream that i don't really remember... i also have that nasty, scummy feeling inside my mouth. the kind where i know i need to brush asap.

saw a recent picture of an ex, and it's weird, because she looks pretty on the aspect of a new hairstyle, but the past two years look like they've taken a toll on the rest of her. not weight wise, just... stress has done a number on her... and it's always nice to see a picture of her sister wearing a shirt i gave her. ah well... who cares anyway? time goes along with situations. maybe i'll listen to, "darkest days," by stabbing westward and drink blood... kidding... only kidding.

i pretty happy that the past two realtionships i've had turned out the way they did. i think back on it now, and i can't honestly see myself being in either with a real grain of reality staring back at me from them. they were experiences and i learned from them. i really hope the next one i'm in is with a somewhat sane individual. although i have my hang-ups too so i should take some blame.

this weekend is like all my other weekends. i've stayed in, well, i'm broke so i can't go anywhere anyways, though i want to see, "28 weeks later," and bob and heather have officially become roommates once again.

we watched this film, "catch and release," with jennifer garner, and kevin smith.

kevin smith plays a character that is basically me without the amount of booze consumption, but the story is lackluster love stuff.

i want to own the first two pirates movies...

bob got my rabbit ears a working, so aside from sopranos, all my other shows: 24, heroes, lost, the office, will be watched on my big tv on their regularly scheduled air dates.

my back really aches right now.

HALO lashes.

i was beside myself when i arrived home tonight to find my cable internet was down. i cried and yelled.

now it's up again.

i have an eyelash in my eye that's driving me insane.

in the time the net was down, i picked up, "HALO," and began playing it from the beginning all over again... i truly love this game.

spidey sense tingling...

i was off from work today. i left early yesterday... normally, i wouldn't be so brash to take off, but i felt sick yesterday, mainly a stomach, backdoor number two kinda thing, that carried over to today, and, i also had a doctor's visit today to see if i have carpel tunnel syndrom. the jury's still out on it. waiting for the results... but i will say this. getting electro-shocked for ten minutes is not as much fun as one might assume. it actually sucks.

i should know by friday or saturday if i will be a projectionist again. although, i feel oddly confident that i'll get the job. i hope i do. i'll be working close to eighty hours a week, but, the money, added onto the fun i had working at the theater... kinda fits. and plus, i have a lot of debt to pay off.

i'd be lying if i said i wasn't looking forward to, "spiderman 3," but truthfully, i'm looking more forward to playing the new 360 game. i kinda want to play part 2 on xbox again. give it another go. i remember loathing it, but we'll see.

i don't think there will be a spiderman movie in my lifetime that will truly give me what it is i want... to see the vulture brought to life on the big screen.

vulture is easily my favorite, and more underrated spidey villan. i would also like to see mysterio brought to life, but i feel both these villans, much as i love them, would never translate over in hollywood's eyes, because they're more unknowns to common moviegoers, whereas green goblin and doc ock are like what the joker and penguin are to batman... although... they did use ra's al ghul as a main baddy in the reinventing of batman... hmmm...

i love sandman as a villan, i do, and venom is, okay at best, but is it necessary to cram in three villans, osbourne is not forgotten, into a two and a half hour movie? that's what i though originally ruined the batman franchise back in the 90's... one at a time... if you make a quality story driven film, people will clammer for a follow-up... concentrate on one background of a villan, not three... i have a feeling i won't like this spidey as much as the first two.

i'm pretty drained. not tired drained, but i guess, just bored with things. life needs to get exciting... i want to lose weight and fight crime.

and now, in spirit of spidey week, two of my favorite, spiderman themed penny arcade comics...