the bass and the blindness of men.

i am coming to you from the library. it's the only source i have to the internet, and since i've been coming once a week, i have re-found the love i had for it so long ago.

being without the internet has also left me without the time consumption of the 360, so i began playing older games i never beat on the old xbox, ps2, and n64... it's been fun.

"manhunt 2," i did finally get, and while i don't think it's as bad as the reviews have chortled on about, i don't think it's nearly as good a story as the first. the controls also suffer severly as well as the camera angles.

i began watching the extended, "lord of the rings," trilogy again, finding myself getting choked up as gandolf sacrifices himself to the balrog/balrok???

i'm already bored. it's amazing how use to not having the internet becomes. kinda like when i dropped the cellphone. the only thing i wish i could do is watch the new episodes of, "lost," but the library computers don't have the streaming software.

other than that, not much else. i've been pretty withdrawn and look forward to living alone again.

work has been hectic this past week. i worked overtime the last three days very late into the evening.

i tried to read sean astin's autobiography, "there and back again: an actor's tale," but he's so pompous and arrogant, i could only make it into thirty pages before i brought it back.

"i overheard that you were unhappy too, misleading trust into a relationship that makes no sense, over and out connecticut..."

this will be the last post i write until i'm settled in up north in wisconsin. i'm cutting the cable modem to help save seventy bucks a month that could be better used to put into savings...

since i'm trying to ween myself off of the internet and games like a junkie kicking smack, i've ventured into a field i had long since missed from my childhood. something i loved immensely, and looked forward to doing at any time of the day... reading.

since december 21st of '07, up until now, i have read through four books, and i couldn't have been prouder of myself.

the past four days i've come home from work, i go to letting my dog out, checking the mail, showering, fixing and eating a bologna sandwich with a handful of frito corn chips, and flopping onto my springy mattress to read joe pantoliano's, "who's sorry now?"

i finished it moments ago, and did two things throughout the book. laughed out loud, something i very rarely do when reading, and cried. the book is funny and sad, and even though i didn't grow up as an italian-american in hoboken, i still found similarities to my muddy irish-german, mixed heritage upbringing in the upper peninsula.

reading has also become my escape from my normal life which wasn't normal in it's own right.

work has been very rough this past week, with certain people leaning on me, and certain people just getting on my nerves. i have been zero social with anyone in the household, and it's not that i'm trying to be a prick, i think, i just feel the urge to be by myself, and get lost through words in a book, until it's time for me to go home to my mom and dad.

this will be the last you hear from me until i'm back at home, freezing my beanbag off.

on borrowed time.

i've come to have this comfort in my mind, even though my life feels very accelerated; and i've also learned that some of the best things in life, are from the late seventies.

above said being a man by the name of terry reid, a musician who i learned of oddly enough from rob zombie's, "devil's rejects," soundtrack.

he had two or three tracks on the album that were just insane, and when i went to search him out, i had found that the man was made underrated by most of my peers, and only had three known albums in his resume. two being from the late seventies and one from the mid-nineties.

"seed of memory," is the one of the three i'd recommend the most to anyone who wants to hear an album that's part groove, part classic rock, and part background ambiance for a sam kieth comic. it's nothing short of spectacular.

the realtor came by and we talked about the house, getting it on the market as soon as we could, and comics. the man brought his hardcover, "elektra: assassin," autographed by frank miller himself! that was pretty cool.

i saw two movies worth seeing this weekend.

"juno," which was humorous, and, "the orphanage," which was magnificent.

i only went to see, "the orphanage," because guillermo del toro presented it, and lately, aside from, "blade 2," i've been a pretty big fan of his, and as i said, i'm glad i went, because it was magnificent. all spanish with english subtitles, but worth a viewing. i think i may own that one.

started futzing with, "saint's row," again. i need a new game to conquer. i want, "the godfather."

and finally, the last bit of self-involved news comes in the form of me being glad i didn't use my christmas gift card to target, because, "family guy presents blue harvest," the star wars special, is coming out on dvd this tuesday in a giant collector's edition with cards, poster, shirt, 3-D glasses and more. bonus!

i can't wait to get to wisconsin.

man i can't wait to see this...

the trailer for the new george romero zombie flick, "diary of the dead."

Diary of the Dead - Exclusive Trailer

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i'm never playing, "DEAD RISING," again.

the following, taken from wikipedia...

"Dead Rising has an unusual save system: only one game-in-progress can be saved per memory device per Xbox 360 profile. In these cases, Dead Rising allows players to save their current level and status and restart the game from the beginning as a more powerful player. The system is a deliberate game mechanic, borrowed from one of Capcom's RPGs Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter; the two games share some development team members.[11]

Though the unusual saves are largely unpopular with gamers and likely caused Dead Rising to be scored lower on game ratings, Keiji Inafune said, in an interview with Electronic Gaming Monthly, that, the saves were intentionally designed so that players would feel that there were some consequences for their actions and would be forced to make quick, tactical decisions."

in a related story, twenty seven year old gamer, douglas burke, who had to replay through twice because of said save function, was quoted as saying:

"fuck, 'dead rising,' and fuck the japanese... i quit." [end quote.]

so, i broke the news on livejournal, for those of you who read this, and i doubt there are many because i never hear otherwise in the comments section, i, douglas burke, am moving to wisconsin just as soon as my house here sells.

i'm pretty scared in the sense of having to take the time to pack everything and get the house sold, but the outcome outweighs that fear for the most part.

but, i have good reasons for moving. family, and let's face it, everything tastes better up north.

it will be good to only be an hour or two driving distance from caddy dan. i miss that guy.

the prospect of having an apartment is exciting too. it'll be a first for me. up until now, i've only ever lived with my folks, and in this house i bought.

i can't wait to get back to green bay more than anything. the comicbook stores and used game/dvd places... it'll be nice to get to a familiar place once held in high regard of my childhood.

the beer's better up north too. :)

"THROUGH THE STRUGGLES YOU'VE ENDURED..."

"dead rising."

this fucking game. a 360 game.

when it first came out, i was overjoyed to play a next-gen zombie game. capcom made it. and what else did they make??? resident. fucking. evil.

so, of course, i was optimistic. what i remember however, was hating the game.

that was almost a year and a half ago. i opted for a second chance, since i've honed into my gamer skills a little better. how did it fare up.

great actually. the only problem... a shitty save system. and because the save system is so shitty, the two and a half hours i played straight through, and the five storyline cases i completed... were lost when i inadvertently died. all that progress, lost. start from scratch.

i've never screamed to the point where i saw my own saliva spit onto the screen, to reflect anger displayed in high def.

and to top it all off... i report for jury duty tomorrow morning.

someone is selling this for $1,999 on ebay...



can anyone buy this for me? it's fucking solo in carbonite for crying out loud! there's not many things i would ravenously covet on this earth, but a life size replica of han solo frozen in carbonite is something i would smack a kid in the face for.

i caught myself the, "30 days of night," screener dvd, and saw it finally.

i've never read the comics, although that's not to say i'm not a steve niles fan, i am, i just never found the comics to look all that appealing, but, now after watching the film, i kinda wanna read them.

it reminded me of, "the thing," with vampires. it actually wasn't that bad.

i'm re-watching, "heroes," season one, seeing as how i got it for christmas, and i'm falling in love with it all over again. though i'm not too big on the 73 minute un-aired, tim kring cut pilot, that is included in the set. it's very different, and very... boring?

started playing, "splinter cell: double agent," again, and got sucked into it massively. i completely disregarded my, "halo 3," matches in slayer, and just got lost in sam fisher-land...

i really want to re-play, "the godfather."

this is the last day of my vacation. work tomorrow. i guess i miss work in a sick way. i've literally left the house four times in two weeks. it has been nice just vegging out, playing games, reading books i've had for years finally, and watching a massive amount of dvds... married with children, heroes, twin peaks, the office, etc...

if this is any indication as to how a retirement can be spent, then i'm ready now.

new card.

nor hell hath fury.

ADDENDUM: as of 1:05 p.m. today, january 2, 2008, i beat, "halo 3," on heroic. the ending was a let down for me. my bungie profile is online now as well so you can view my halo service record if you're bored. brokencopy at bungie.
END OF ADDENDUM.

to my amazement two days ago, i woke up with a soreness in my right ear, once again, for the first time in two months.

then, yesterday, it got worst, and let's just say, i'm glad i kept the ear drops i got from the last time, because once again, i have swimmer's ear, and for the life of me, i don't know why. all i know, is that it feels like someone is piercing my eardrums with nails. it hurts that bad.

this morning was a nice surprise to find that, unbeknown to me, the low for the day was to be twenty nine degrees with a high of fifty six. followed in the week to weather back in the hot area. i hate florida.

when i spoke to my mother yesterday, i basically told her that in november, i plan on coming up for a week, and while i'm there, i'm going to look in green bay for work and a cheap apartment. i will be moving back up north in 2009. that's my goal.

i'm tired of paying the ridiculous cost that it be to live here, and really, aside from my roommates, there's nothing here for me. i don't really talk to anyone anymore, and i'm just not happy.

green bay is a big city, that i more or less grew up around and loved, and it has a massive amount of comicbook stores, and great comedy clubs, so, it's only logical i move back home. i can say this with absolute certainty, once i move up, i will never come back here again.

i finally played through the trouble spots i had in, "halo 3," and made it to the end of the cortana mission. now that's left is to finish that last bit, and then chapter nine, and i will have beaten the game. it's a lot harder on heroic than i thought.

finally watched the final season, three, of, "arrested development." it was hysterical as usual, but i'm still sour on how it ended as a hole.

"alien vs. predator: requiem," was better than the first, but not all that great. you really can't make a versus movie with aliens or predators when you think about it, because no one will really win, because they're both two races of aliens that thrive throughout the galaxy.

and finally... why does it take my dog twenty minutes to sniff out a place to shit? i'll never understand how a dog has a standard for shitting on a golden ticket spot.

i made my yearly update to livejournal. so what?

i'm very happy with myself in a way. since i've been on vacation, i've read two books, and began a third.

the best gift i got this christmas, "twin peaks definitive gold box edition," and it's so awesome.

it has both the american and european pilot episodes, the saturday night live bits, and this great lynch retrospective in a los angeles bar with some of the old cast, among many other features not on the other two dvd releases.

not much else to report on. i did want to break my copy of, "halo 3," in half.

i played through chapter seven right up until i had to face off with the citadel, when the game gliched, and i had to begin all over. twenty some minutes gone. and i'm playing it on heroic no less. fucking game...

leather wings.

i've been on vacation since a week ago today, which would've been friday, the 21st of december in the year of our lord, and only now, right now, am i enjoying myself somewhat...

"this will destroy you," a band i love dearly, has a new album coming out in '08, and they've been giving away copies of it at their shows, and i managed to nab one, and it's so breath-taking, it brings salt to the eyes.

i was pretty apprehensive about watching the bbc version of, "the office," even though i had heard it was funnier than the one i love very much here in the states, but having tracked through the first six episodes of the first season, i can honestly say, i do enjoy the bbc version a hell of a lot more than ours...

what's fascinating to me is the dialect used in england. shit, cock, and other words we consider vulgar here, and used freely there. there version of vulgarity is words like wanker, or piss. piss to them is like what fuck is to us. i'm intrigued by that in so many ways.

now, here's the part where it was hard at first for me to swallow the show as a whole.

the first episode, is as literal a translation as you can get, almost word for word, to what the first episode of the us version is. but, the us version took it from them, but seeing as how i saw the us version first, it makes it all the more odd for me.

everything that we have on ours, is there in different wording and fashion. the characters are similar, for instance, their jim and pam, is dawn and tim, and i honestly adore dawn and tim more. because the characters are so endearing and sweet, and painstakingly honest with one another.

what i like about this version more than anything, is it lasted for two seasons and a two part christmas special, and then it ended. they finalized the story, and ended it, where as, as it often is in the U.S., milked as much as possible until the strike happened. i think that's why i disliked season four so much. because it probably could have ended at three with that sweet moment where jim and pam finally hook up, roll credits.

another thing i find interesting with the bbc version, is david brent and gareth keenan, the british version of michael scott and dwight schrute, have a sweet, childlike friendship.

they're both sort of buffoons, but they get each other, where as michael scott is constantly insulting dwight and looking down on him.

i'm not saying our version doesn't work, because i fell in love with it long before i eve saw the bbc version, i'm just saying, it pales in comparison and doesn't hold a candle to the bbc version. ricky gervais is a true genius.

the christmas posting.

merry christmas.

i've been on vacation since friday afternoon, and already i'm bored out of my skull. i want to go back to work. how sick is that?

i would be writing more, but i don't have much to say. my time is vested in the dvd's i got for gifts, and the serious amount of time i'm putting into, "halo 3."

so, until the swing of the new year rolls in, i leave you with a sage francis video...

the last man on earth.

i guess in it's own way, it's been an eventful week, work wise and whatnot.

friday night, as soon as we got ready to venture into our cars, it began to rain heaven down on earth. it's was wet, and i had to get to f.y.e.... soaked to the bone.

i got in and out, with the new potter flick in toe, along with the two disc of, "silence of the lambs," for five dollars, new no less. i have a thing about passing up dirt cheap movies that are essential to one's collection.

being it was friday, it was payday, and all that ever means anymore really, is paid today, broke today. i had to pay off the lee memorial bill, and luckily i got rent from bob, because with that bill and the power bill, i was broke again. living paycheck to paycheck is no way for anyone to live, yet, it's all i seem to do.

the rent, which normally would go into savings to try and build a savings up, went to groceries.

and some fun.

bob and i went to see, "i am legend," yesterday, and while i enjoyed the film, i don't feel the urge to get into it too much. some of the cgi could have been better, and the ending was a bit lame, but overall, not a bad film. i'm sure, "alvin and the chipmunks," is worse.

bob and i went to eat at, "lion's choice," and it was my first time, and, oh man, talk about delicious roast beef.

afterwards, we went shopping for christmas stuff. i mainly went to get my mom some stuff, and that was that.

came home, took a nap, did some laundry, and beat, "call of duty 4: modern warfare," which is easily the best game i've played on 360 since, "bioshock."

graphics, controls, story... the only flaw the game has is it took me like four to five hours to beat. not very long, but really fucking good.


"In your last hour stand
You’ll notice the one that you had loved in dreams is here among the others
Chase it’s you I want but if I can’t have her
Then why should I spend any more time in a world that’s going to end pretty soon?
I need you now more than I ever did
I’ll hand myself over for you
This comlinks lost its frequency and I feel that we’re coming home short
Here take me instead I’d rather not see her off alone..."

-coheed and cambria.

there are few instances where i want to own a music dvd. very few...

that being said, after seeing the trailer for this, and following the music of, "sigur ros," for the past few years, i can safely say that if my family sends me money for christmas, i will drop it on this dvd...



it's part documentary, along with various shows of the icelandic band, playing in the most remote, outdoor areas around iceland, and it just looks breathtaking, visually, and musically, i can guarantee, it will deliver. watch the trailer for yourselves.



i almost never try to get anyone into music. very few occasions i have attempted, buct, "sigur ros," is one of those bands i just wish people would take the time to listen to. they don't have one bad album.

i miss eminem.

i do miss marshal mathers making music.

i don't know why i'm blogging minutes before i go out the door to work, but i thought i'd share a few things real quick.

my new favorite sandwich, is two pieces of hot toast, with two thick slices off of a block of kraft mild cheddar cheese, with a little bit of mayo. it's gooey, tasty, and quick to make. i've been eating them left and right.

"saint's row," is not a bad game i've determined, but a frustrating one.

having to constantly do repetitive side quests to earn enough respect to advance the story mode of the game is irritating. it reminds me much of, "spiderman 2," on xbox, and how after a mere two hours of playing it, i took it back to eb games, and demanded a swap for something of equal value.

xbox live arcade put up a slew of my favorite games to download from the old xbox, with three biggies.

-psychonauts.
-fable.
-indigo prophecy.

"indigo prophecy," was the most shocking to see on the list, because it's such a rare gem that no one really got into or wasn't promoted right, but to this day remains in my top five all time favorite games. it's an incredible mind thriller to play through.

"psychonauts," is another rare gem that i actually started to replay recently. so strange.

and now, i must depart for work.

wu-tang to tha poon-tang.

my updates are becoming more and more sparse it seems.

i decided that playing, "saints row," over a year ago when it came out, for ten minutes, wasn't an efficient amount of time to judge the game, despite at the time i thought it was, and was heard to exclaim, "this game is a piece of shit."

i have since realized i'm addicted to achievement points, and also, giving games the full opportunity it deserves to sink or swim.

so, my friend ginny from work, let me borrow, "saints row," to give it a second shot.

graphics aren't impressive on the game. i can get that out of the way.

being a 360 game, i expected the graphics to be a little more polished, but what can you do?

if, "killzone," is sony's answer to, "halo," then, "saints row," is microsoft's answer to, "grand theft auto."

it's not a bad game. it certainly isn't without it's charm.

i enjoy the oblivion like character construct where you can shape and mold your character to look like you, although they had no glasses function.

the storyline is a bit backwards to me though.

you get recruited to the saints, a gang dedicated to cleaning up the streets and reclaiming the row, and it's assumed your fueled by catholicism, and you're gang hideout is at a church, yet in order to clean up, you utilize violence. killing cops in the game isn't even frowned upon which kinda disturbed me.

the only real beef i find with the game, is like, "spiderman 2," you have to do this useless side missions where you can earn extra scratch, but more important, you gain respect points, and in order to advance the storyline, you have to get respect points.

one of the more favored side missions, is helping out a friendly pimp recruit hoes. the objective bubble actually says, "you must go an recruit hoes from their abusive pimps, and bring them back to live in a well respected, hoe environment." nuff said.



this isn't in theaters yet, but i saw it, and let's just say, if you liked, "donnie darko," then you'll fucking love this film. it's so, fucking... goooooodddddd.....

there is no, "i," in, "fuck you."

the past four days have been a slow, depressive few.

the first day of my thanksgiving break, wednesday, seemed promising, and then on thanksgiving day itself, it was very fulfilling, eating a great meal at j.j.'s house, following that meal up with beer and cornhole, a new american backyard sport. not sodomy.

and then... i just fell into a slump. i left my room yesterday a total of seven times? and for the bathroom and water fill-ups only.

there's a part of me that's bored, and the other part is just sad and afraid. i have no money. only what's aside for the mortgage, and i think a big part of the depression i feel, stems from how i actually would like to go out and see people, and have drinks and dinner, but... can't afford to. i'm disgusted with myself.

and while i hate, "death proof," whole heartedly, i do love zoe bell...

there is no place to hide.

the ladytron remix of nin's, "the beginning of the end," throws out a downward spiral tribute at the end...

this has been a really enjoyable day so far. it's the beginning of bob and mines five day, paid, thanksgiving weekend from work. we've spent the day trying to get higher xbox live scores than one another, off and on, and bob will win with, of all games, "king kong." i'm still striving for the mongoose mowdown achievement on, "halo 3."

i did get the wii zapper with link's crossbow training, thanks to dvd trade-ins... and... i don't like it.

no matter which hand you use, the thing is too compact to be fully appreciated. it's got a weird delay response to your actual movement, and leaves me feeling cheated once again by the new era of nintendo.

the link game's not bad, but all it is, is glorified target practice in different settings and forms.

i will try the zapper on, "resident evil: umbrella chronicles," once i obtain it from byran, but so far, the wii has yet to really impress me.

i really loathed the mario galaxy demo i played.

the 360 just kicks ass. i can't push that system enough. from now until the next, next-gen console, i will continue to celebrate the 360 from a pedestal as high as god's gracious, golden throne.

thanksgiving tomorrow at j boo-boo's. turkey, ham, sweet potato casserole, apple pie, and after dinner, late night games of cornhole, kinda like bean bag tic-tac-toe, and beer. should be a gas.

black friday. i have zero money, but i may tap into my safety savings to get a few things from best buy and circuit city. mainly, "rocky balboa," for four bucks, and, "bust-a-move," on psp for three.

"touching without touching, candles in the dark
casting shadows on our parents battles, this is for the romantics at heart
it wasn't long before i held you more then my pen
when i wasn't writing songs, it was something like,
'Forever and always, whenever those songs play...'"

-sage francis.

i've been in one of those hazy moments, that seems to skip on the stroke of every second in the day... women... a woman. thee woman?...

i was feeling pretty content and felt as though i felt used to being by myself... and now... i'm not sure.

there's of part of me that is apprehensive, and on the same note... pensive...

pen·sive
–adjective

1. dreamily or wistfully thoughtful: a pensive mood.
2. expressing or revealing thoughtfulness, usually marked by some sadness: a pensive adagio.

yeah... it fits.

"the night is falling, thank god, i hear the calling of the skeletons under the sun..."

i'm making efforts in life. taking steps, and i'm incredibly nervous and weird about them all.


i'm still in love with you.