Saturday, October 07, 2006

deep in the heart of texas...

i waste a lot of money and my own time on films. i do. it's just my thing. i'm either at the movie theater or at the video store...


i grew up loving horror and to this day, no one in my family can understand why. i'm the only one who digs horror and i have a massive obsession for it.


when i was in highschool, after having seen edward furlong in, "brainscan," i tried to get my principal to let me create an afterschool club called, "the horror club," in which we'd watch films, and discuss them among comics, books, and other random horror items... he said no.


when i was a kid, i met a group of kids at this trailer park my grandparents were staying at, and they were the ones responsible for getting me to even look at the first, "texas chainsaw massacre," film...


after them telling me about it, i had my grandmother take me to the video store when she was watching me one saturday day, and i picked TCM without a moments hesitation... when we got home and she saw what it was, she about shit.


my cousin kenny came in to visit and said, "oh man... texas chainsaw massacre... grandma, you into this too?"


needless to say, grandma was a little more than warped by the images, but i was enthralled, and captivated by the sheer notion that humans on a country side could be considered to be so conceivable as to do such horrific things. it excited me in a way fear is supposed to i guess. the adrenaline rush had me... and from that point on, it was all downhill...


"texas chainsaw massacre part 2," to this day is my favorite of the series. it's campiness, humor, gore, and bill mosely/dennis hopper driven cast gets me everytime, but the others are passible too. i even like the marcus nispel remake which i wouldn't call a remake as much as a re-envisioning... they're all fair and decent in their own rights... aside from the one with rene zellwigger and matty mccaughney... i could never get into that one...


that being said, i get to take a massive shit on this latest installment, which i thought i would like due to the prequel story as it relates to the recent, "remake," and reunited the same cast...


the texas chainsaw massacre: the beginning.

the poster says, "witness the birth of fear..." and rightfully so...


you actually see leatherface, s'cuse me, thomas hewitt, born from a fat girl who dies while popping him out... and that was the only birth you see. his birth is it!


i was expecting this grand reasoning for why he is what he is, and does what he does... best i can figure, he's got a skin disease, and he's a bit retarded which, by hollywood standards means he's a born killer. lethal and malicious... stupid and thoughtless... what a fucking stupid excuse for a plot builder.


r. lee ermey plays the character that fuels thomas' bloodlust, and you never know why. it's like this family decides to stay put where they live even after the town dies out in the midst of vietnam, and out of nowhere, r. lee decides, "we're not leaving... god put food for us forth so we would never starve [meaning passerbys in their town]... let's be a family of cannible killers..." out of nowhere that happens. let's be killers... on a whim... it's fucking sad.


the film is shot like a snuff film which makes it look cool, but the look of the film is nothing to the recycled kills and plot twists it tooks from the previous film. it's shit we've seen before, and people we've seen before, locations we've seen before... it's all the same...


it would have been more entertaining had there been some inventive death scenes like the handgun suicide girl in it's predecessor, but nope. not one.


thinking about it now, i feel like someone just stuck their finger in my asshole for an hour and a half, played with the shit ridden lining of my butthole, and at the end of the hour and a half, in john laroquette's voice said, "would you like a slice of pie now?"

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