"hear your voices sing back louder..."

i began writing a blog this morning when i was drunk on molson gold, listening to the depressive instrumental riffs of, "this will destroy you," and thinking about julie, because, as much as i don't want to be honest on this topic, lately, i can't get her off my mind. the what-ifs and all that. i miss her. and even though for the most part i feel content being alone... i don't.

...then, later in the day, after passing out, i woke up, groggy. i got a bottle of water, and gulped it down, hydrating myself, and proceeded to get my hands on the new, "angels and airwaves." and i cheered up, because, and i'm not sure if it's tom delonge's intention, but, he makes music that just infuses the feeling of hope.

i really didn't care for, "AVA's," first album, "we don't need to whisper," but i really enjoy, "I-Empire." it's incredible, and just reminds me of old 80's movies like, "real genius," with val kilmer... and don't try to figure that statement out, because i can't either. it just has that feeling...

bryan and bridget, if you read this blog still: brokencopy@yahoo.com is my email, i can't find your phone number, and i want to get together. email me.

this productive weekend saw me watch through some episodes of, "scrubs," season four, and... I CARVED A PUMPKIN! target is the best store ever and had big pumpkins on sale for a buck and half... check out my new oh face... i call him dewey...

second life. half-life. no life.

yes, i took a big boy step, and deleted the myspace account! people may ask, "why?"... because i've hated myspace for a long time, and have just been too lazy to get rid of it until recently.

i've been depressed a lot more these days. my work more than anything is what does it for me...

last night, i beat, "half-life 2," the orange box edition, and unlocked most of it's achievements, with the exception of a petty few.

it always feels good to accomplish something.

i began, "half-life 2: episode one," as soon as the credits finished rolling on the regular game, and you know what...? i love episode one.

it picks up, minutes after the ending of two. directly, and you play as freeman. which is odd because i thought this game was a focus on alex, but, whatever... it's awesome.

after watching the newest episode of, "the office," last night, i signed up and downloaded, "second life."

now, i love the concept of a virtual world that is really a virtual world to escape to. i love that they don't consider it a game. however, i need someone to help me get my computer to run it faster.

i can bring it all up, but it's super slow, and i don't know shit about upgrading computers for games, or in this case, my virtual world app... any help?

also, as much as i was hyping it, i have to be honest... I HATE THE NEW COHEED AND CAMBRIA ALBUM! i've never been so disappointed in a band...

"let your rabbit go run..."

for the past week, i've been out sick from work, which i'm sure i'll catch heat for when i go back on monday.

the doctor told me i have a really bad sinus infection, which explains the massive, week long migraine, raw throat, and the right side nostril that's caked in a bloody-puss like sore.

he gave me amoxicilan, and this nasal spray that feels as though some scientists created a mist version of salt, that you gingerly whiff and immediately cry in pain as the burning sensation ravages the sore inside of your nasal cavity. my head by the way, still hurts. this is the worse migraine, and certainly the longest one i've ever had... my previous record was four days straight. it's the kind of pain where when you sit up, it feels like jackhammers are pressing your brain down really hard, over and over... it's bad.

the only real treat i've had this past week, is yesterday, the new coheed and cambria album i pre-ordered a month ago, came, five days before street date, with the bonus dvd, and t-shirt, and, i was able to have a good fellow pick me up a nice, subway club sub.

i've, as of late, have gotten addicted to subway.

now, true, there are better sub shops around, like jersey mike's, englund's deli, and publix deli, but i have a subway located right in front of my house more or less, and it's cheap, and the double meat club on whole wheat... well that's all right with me...

the best sub i ever had was from a place in milwaukee, wisconsin, that my friend seth introduced me to, called, "jimmie john's."

i've since ate at one in detroit which is equally as good, and one in tallahassee, which is not so good.

being a fat guy, i'm really big on subs... and taco bell. i love me some taco bell.

"you've got nothing to prove... stay afraid...."

i called off work for the third day in a row. i feel like crap, and will force myself back tomorrow regardless. i have since decided i won't be going to orlando as planned this weekend. which is a bummer, but, my health is priority numero uno.

i got stuck while playing, "portal," and discovered: gamevideos.com, and found a detailed video of the level i'm stuck on and how to get through it, and was really impressed at how far visual, video help guides have come... of course the downside to this is the site told me that i only have three more levels to get through and i'm done with the game, which took some of the fun out of it, but, if you've ever played, "portal," you would've understood why i had to look it up.

i'm also a little bit disenchanted with the achievements system on, "half-life 2," for the simple fact that when i had to go through the ravenholm section, under the achievements list, it said if i made it through ravenholm only using my gravity gun, that i would unlock 25G's. guess what, no it didn't!

still, despite the few minor complaints, i'm happy overall with the orange box still. ... i'm going back to bed.

the sickies.

so, i took off work yesterday and today... i feel sick. headcold, bad. i know exactly what it's from, and i'm gonna nip this shit in the bud... nyquil, motrin, and orange juice are my only allies now...

and look what i found at the header of yahoo news today...



yeah, blame, "halo 3," and not the shitty idea to remake a bad movie.

whattaweekend!!!

this weekend was the first in a good, long while, that i really enjoyed myself, and am sad to see myself go back to work.

normally, by sunday night around six, i'm ready to get back to work because i'm bored, but not this weekend.

it was a good mix of gaming, reading, and "my name is earl," season two.

they re-opened the papa john's that used to be down the road three years ago, finally, and what's more, they re-opened it closer to my house. i now have a papa john's within five minute walking distance. it reminded me of what it was like when the ghostbusters made a comeback...

and that pizza... if i had sit in with jesus at the last supper, it's what i imagined he'd be chomping down on... so good.

also, the coheed and cambria leaked, i listened to it once so i can be prepared for the actual release, but i can tell you from my one through, i don't like the last track. for the ending of the coheed and cambria saga, you'd think they go out on more an epic note like they did with, "the final cut."

aside from that, it has a more metal feel, reminiscent of, "iron maiden."

read through two books this weekend, so i feel smarter now.

i've been playing a healthy dose of, "half-life 2," which i had forgotten how much i loved that game, and, "portal." i know, i know. i retract previous, negative statements about, "portal." it does, pardon the pun, suck you in, after a bit of play.

oh, by the way, check out: how it should have ended dot com.

the ainbow unoection aye.

the following video kills me every time i watch it on the season three dvd so much, that i had to share it with you.

it's andy and pam from, "the office," and andy is trying to serenade pam. it's so fucking funny for some reason... i love how at the end, jim, john krasinski, breaks character. it's lights me up with blubbery delight...

i'll devote a tribute week to you, VALVe, when i'm in heaven.

the orange box. three words, across the spine of the 360 case. the orange box. five games, one box. it's almost enough to make a grown man weep. for sixty bucks, you get five, quality games. the orange box... the new, digital bible... because after playing this disc... it becomes clear to me, that only god could have created such a glorious thing...



if you never played the first, "half-life," you're not missing much, but, if you've never played, "half-life 2," then you must have been living under a rock.

i shouldn't have to go into specifics on how good, "half-life 2," is... it just is.

i have yet to play episode one or two, the expansions for, "half-life 2," but have read reviews that were nothing short of spectacular.

i will replay through the game before i venture into the episodes.

"portal," is not a game that interested me when i read about it, and after spending twenty minutes playing it, it's apparent that for me personally, it's just as uninteresting as it was when i read it. a very odd sci-fi puzzle based game. the only cool thing i can say, is mike patton did voiceover work for it. and that's it. although i know a lot of cats who do dig the game...



the fucking motherload of online multiplayer games. i refuse to write a big, gushing review for this game, because i shouldn't have to. the game is phenomenal. all the things you read about it are true. it's that good.

to give a reference point, the only two gripes i have with the game.

1. capture the flag is only playable on one of the six maps, and after a while, the same map gets repetitive.

2. the rapid decline of health... it seems like one mere shot nearly drains you of fifty percent of your health, making you become a craftier player, but still, death can occur more often because of this flaw.

but other than that, the games fucking out there and insane.

overall, for sixty bucks, "the orange box," is easily one of the smarter decisions i've made in videogame purchasing. i think my next will be, "the simpsons game," and while i'm not a fan of the show, that lard lad demo is so genuinely fun, it makes me giggle every time i play through it.

and on a brighter note, the florida lotto tonight is up to $25 million... if i don't win, i plan on getting the hellman's mayonnaise blue ribbon logo tattooed on me, and will see if i can't parlay a spokesperson deal with them... "fat people love mayonnaise, and that mayonnaise is hellman's..."

"there's no world for tomorrow, if we wait for today..."

i got this email today from none other than santa...



go figure...

in other news, i have never been so anxious for a record to get released/leaked like i am with:



i have literally downloaded ever bit of samples/leaked live tracks from this album and i am go fucking insane waiting for this album.

i know a lot of people don't really dig, "coheed and cambria," but the whole story, the sci-fi element, the overall concept is what drives me. it's like my version of a new star wars, which might not make much sense to most, but it's the only way i can really describe how i feel towards the whole saga of the band and the concept.

of course i love them... i did get a the keywork tattooed on my leg...

"heroes," impressed the hell out of me last night. i really love the direction they're going with peter.

"weeds," was awesome as always.

also, if you have the chance, and are online with xbox live, download, "the simpsons game," demo. it's hard, but insanely good... "conan," on the other hand really let me down... it's nothing more than a, "god of war," variation with conan.

"i like my jesus to wear a tuxedo shirt, cause i like to party, and i like my jesus to like to party..."

it's funny how i look forward to the weekends after that first monday at work, and then by sunday, i, for some reason, can't wait to get back to work...

i think it has to do with bordem. i can only watch so many dvds, and play so many videogames. i sleep a lot on sundays come to think of it.

last night, i went to fye, and traded in a bunch of dvd's that i had gotten as gifts from an ex-girlfriend a few years back, and picked up, "fantastic four and the rise of the silver surfer: power cosmic edition." i don't care what is said, i liked this movie. it was good.

i also stopped at walmart and bought some new white t-shirts for work, and ended up liking the way they felt, nice and airy, that i got a few extras and am wearing them exclusively.

also, i am convinced i'm addicted to campbell's chunky roadhouse chili.

my new favorite song is HOME by the, "foo fighters." so much so in fact that i took a photo from the back porch when it was raining, and put the lyrics over it...



also, "my name is earl," season one is so worth the seventeen bucks BJ's is charging.

oh yeah, got another job. i'm back working for tim at the tv center. five days a week, two hours a night, boxing stuff to ship. i haven't started yet, but will soon. don't ask.

"it's time for the curing..."

i never thought in a million years, in the country i live in, which is supposed to be the land of the free mind you, that i would read an article about another human losing their job over their personal blog, let alone their employer being nintendo... nintendo fires employee over blog.

in other news, a few things to dump off at the mouth about.

first... last night's episode of, "the office."

i was more than happy with this episode making up for the bad season premier.

it was a classic, "office," feel intertwined with a new, "office," plot. and what's more, is what they did with creed's character... this...



let's break it down for those who missed it...

basically, dunder mifflen has decided to come into the technological age with a website, and a complete overall for a new age.

upon hearing this, creed figures that him and a few other of the elder people there are screwed, so he dyes his hair, and goes into youth oriented dialog i haven't heard since pauly shore?

best scene:



to ryan:

"hey, whatta we gotta do to get some redbull in this machine? sometimes a dude's gotta ride the bull, am i right on bro, or what?"

off onto, "smallville," season seven, episode two.

...so, kara ala supergirl is the focus... so... alien's just automatically come quipped with fake tits and wonderbras? and what's with those cheekbones? massive... story, weak sauce.

tim burton's trailer for his upcoming, "sweeny todd, the demon barber of fleet street," didn't surprise me in the fact that... i knew it was gonna look like a shitty, faggy, goth movie... how that long haired creep has a cult following is beyond me... sure, i'll give him credit, pee wee's big adventure, and the first two batman's were good, but... that's about as far as i'm willing to go...

the gulf coast regal cinemas this month will be showing flashback movies.

two of those films i have to see are, "the breakfast club," and the most important, "national lampoon's animal house." i'm there.

and now... let the weekend begin. only four more days until the orange box comes out, and then i can rock, "team fortress 2," on the 360!

20 years younger, or 20 years uglier...?

i've been trying to come up with something to say for the past few days. just as i begin a sentence, i'm immediately disgusted, and follow that feeling with the delete key.

i went to the memorial service for the father of a friend of mine. it was pretty massive in the aspect of volume in people. it was almost like a convention. i've never seen so many people in one room for a memorial. it spoke miles of the mans character, and made me wish i would have gotten a chance to know him on a more personal level.

life for me has been pretty... stale?

yesterday, around noon i sat in a hess parking lot in my work truck. i started weeping with regrets as to where i've ended up in my life. as i wept, i turned on the radio, while wiping away the liquid salt, and red hot chili peppers, "soul to squeeze," was playing, and for some reason, things made more sense.

sometimes i feel like this blogging thing is a waste of time. none of this seems interesting to me.