"i know the steak is cold, but it's wrapped in plastic..."

i think i'm gonna write a blog, and later in the day, or when i'm not so fucking tired, incorporate the images i have gather to garner said subjects i will be talking about...

this is gonna sounds funny or gross, or... both, but i just took a shit not too long ago, and i swear, it really did, smell like burnt peanuts... weird.

walmart... i had to go to walmart last night after the movie. it's the only place to get my soap and shampoo at cheap... having trudged through the store at ten at night, i felt that as i left the store, i should have been deloused.

how can a store like walmart, just seem to breed the term, "virus," so literally? even the air smells contaminated in that fucking store.

on one end of the spectrum, for an instance, let's say, the "toy" isle, there was a really, really, really, huge, fat girl, no more than eight or nine, sitting in a shopping cart, with a missing front tooth, gnawed up hair, and a red kool-aid stain around her mouth, directing very verbally, her equally hefty mother, who had more beard than i, which isles she wanted to go up and down... both wore pink, and both wore spandex like, sweatpants... it was unsettling, and gross. and following them immediatley, i saw a woman, not as big, but big, with a foppish looking mullet cut, salt and peppered, with a moustache, roaming through the bike isles...

i thought to myself, "only in america... and only in a fucking walmart..."

but on the very opposite side of the store, in the phantom zone if you will... was the beautiful women... the fucking knock-out, what the fuck are they doing here at this hour?, fucking hot spanish women, with tight jeans or white skirts showing the outline of their panties, and a tight shirt that showed the amazing round breasts hid behind a tight, exotic bra... never before had i wished i could be invisible so i could run to each of them, lick their necks like a schoolboy in heat, grab their tits real quick, and run out giggling. why did god make women so irresistable and hot?

300.

was good. really good. i really enjoyed the new, "venom/eddie brock," focused spiderman 3 trailer, although was looking forward to the rumored, "watchmen," trailer...

zach snyder and robert rodriguez impress me... they have proved that you can take an amazing comic, and breath the source material into life... it's amazing how frank millers images, from both, "sin city," and, "300," translated so perfect to screen... and it all really lays in the hands at the respective directors... that is all...

rue morgue.

the new issue is out with a tribute to, "phantasm." buy it like i did.

zach galifinankis: live at the purple onion.

i shouldn't spend any money i have on material shit, but to get this dvd for twelve bucks, and a load of laughs was worth it... zach is one of the most unique, and truly genius comedians i've ever seen work a room. buy this dvd if you haven't already... best buy has it... in fact, the girl who rung me up looked at the cover of the dvd and asked me to mimic him playing the piano to which i kinda did, to which she said:

"you know... you kinda look like him..."

to which i said:

"did you look at the cover? i mean really look at it?... the hair and beard i get, but that's it."

wedding crasher.

mikey and i went to get fitted for tuxes yesterday. i still have to write a sincere speach for the reception, being the best man, and my goal is to make people cry and prove to them that i can go without cursing... although... mikey and i thought it'd be funny if i gave a heartfelt speech, and ended with, "shitcockdamn... you guys have a good night..."

we ate at, "famous dave's." first time there, and our waitress was kind and pretty, and very funny, and the food was pretty good. the sauces, more or less all of them had a kick to them, but my belly felt good after filling up on a half a slab of ribs.

comics.

i got my comics for the past two weeks, so the universe is at one.

the nintendo wii.

i have made the decision, that within the next two months... i should buy a wii... rockstar is making, "manhunt 2," as a prequel for the system, as well as psp and ps2, and honestly, i would like to kill people with the wii remote... also, super mario galaxy looks kinda good...

and finally... SCREAMFEST 2007.

all info can be found here. i will be going on saturday only, and if anyone wishes to go, all you need do is let me know, get yourself a ticket, and help with gas unless we can take your car...

-douglas. [brokencopy@yahoo.com]